Paper Cone Stories
a monthly reading series at
jack's stir brew in the west village
hosted by kayla morse and emma barrie
Updates
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Look at this. This is good stuff. This is from Panera. Very high-end.6 days ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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"Do you think the penny sings Unchained Melody?" -my dad, on Ghost the Musical6 days ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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“If you’re in the 26th row how do you even see the penny?” -my dad, on Ghost the Musical6 days ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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Tell Congress: Don’t censor the web! http://t.co/l42HuxWq
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in once upon a time, why doesn't the evil lady just get a restraining order on that main girl? i mean, she's like stalking her birth child.4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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watching 'once upon a time' for the first time...why do all of the women on this show have the same face?4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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i realized i can read things like hunger games if i just say i'm "curious"4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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so to be clear, "She's a little firecracker" is just something parents say when their children are terrible?4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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@darylynne thank you4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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important infographic http://t.co/AvuBneJb4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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i made my family disappear4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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@thegunsel i dont get it4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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...and don't worry about your home; it's in good hands... #homealonelivetweeting4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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how come you didn't bring more cheese pizzas?4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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look whatcha did you little jerk!4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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did anybody order me a plain cheese??4 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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just met (avoided) a homeless man with a voice like slingblade. where has Billy Bob Thorton been lately? just saying. #BeverlyHills
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in LA it's hard to give away only 1 Worst Person of the Day Award per day
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@thegunsel THX FOR FINDING THAT6 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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does anyone remember when Bill Pullman was in A League of Their Own and you really wished you were Gena Davis?7 weeks ago from web | Reply, Retweet, Favorite
Posts
A WEEK FROM TODAY! SO SICK!
ALSO: POSTER DONE BY THIS AWESOME LADY, KELLY BLANCHAT
Read Sean Ferrell’s hilarious piece about the new Scrabble rules on Electric Literature’s Outlet Blog. Then come hear him read from his new novel this Wednesday at Paper Cone!
If you missed out on Paper Cone 5: America’s Funniest Home Paper Cones, you were wrong. So I’ll make it up to you and tell you what happened! You missed stories about childhood lemonade stands! gay porn! vomit! trips abroad! Weezer! You missed me and Kayla in all our glory, accidentally hitting audience members with the mic stand (me) and spilling mimosa on our shirts (also me)! You missed laughter and tears, but only tears from too much laughter! You missed some magic.
I want to thank all our readers for being beyond brilliant and funny and talented. And thanks to all our audience members for coming!!
Check the photos section later for when I post the 2 pictures I may or may not have taken. (Seriously, if you want to take photos of Paper Cone events, you can have all the free mimosas you want.)
And come back next month! Because on July 28th, Sean Ferrell is reading from his new novel, Numb!!! And he’s coming equipped with his buds, Jeff Somers and Evan Mandery!!! And I’m inevitably gonna do something/say something stupid!!!
Until next time,
E
“In other words, someone lost a bet/ Salman Rushdie dropped out and Paper Cone Stories invited me to participate in their latest reading this Wednesday. If you’re in NYC you should go. I will probably be drunk again, I will most certainly call everyone the wrong name and if I make the mistake of wearing any kind of shoes, I’ll probably trip in them. On stage. Dress over the head, papers flying, take a bow and tip your waitress. “
come wednesday night to see maxine. it won’t be on youtube. if you miss it, you miss out.
e
First year, i talked about this video A LOT. i mean, it’s my all-time favorite ‘episode’ of my all-time favorite show, so duh. I would say, “DEFIED THE LAWS OF GRAVITY WITH HIS FEAR.”
I couldn’t find it on youtube then, was sure it was buried in the vault of the 90s and no one would ever see it. BUT THEN. So i’m at michelle’s in atlanta after a long first-trip to new orleans. we are sitting on her couch after getting super-high from this weed she dug out of a so-michelle little metal tin with flowers etched onto the top or something. we have a TUB of hummus and a BAG of pretzels. and TV, which is like, the best when you go to college and never have TV. it’s vacationx2. LIFE was GOOD. thought maybe it couldn’t get any better. BUT THEN. the grimy shot panning over carpeted stairs and football gear in Hometown, Indiana. the whisper: texas chainsaw cheerleader massacre. the, ‘holy shit, they DID NOT’ as you realize what’s happening. i was like, YOU GUYS. and they were like, NO WAY. and i was like, NO REALLY. THIS IS IT. i laughed so hard that i actually couldn’t breathe out for a solid 15 seconds after the clip ended, coated the inside of my lungs with pretzel salt dust, thought i was drowning in that oh-my-god-i’m-so-high-and-god-loves-me way, wiped tears of joy from my little red eyes through all the ensuing skiiing-off-the-roof vids. tv nirvana.
k
When I go out to brooklyn bars on a Friday night, I may as well be putting on a power suit, because I am there to WORK. Bathroom sink’n’mirror combos are my rolodexes—which is why when I looked up from washing my hands a little while back and caught this excellent individual in the reflection, I cornered her until she agreed to read at the next Paper Cones even though she had no clue who I was. Stopping someone right outside the bathroom stall when they have to pee BAD is a really effective way to get them to say yes to something quick, by the way.
I knew I had her for real when she said, “You’re asking ME to read, Laura?”
And I nodded, because sometimes business is about compromise, and first names aren’t exempt from that.
k
josh duboff reading at PC4 on wednesday. i think this was the part where he was comparing himself to gordo from lizzie mcguire. at least, that’s what part i hope this is.
photo thanks to @pizzastroika
HA. GOTCHA! Not really, guys. The best night of my life was when I was in 8th grade and I was staying at a hotel in NYC with my mom and as we were leaving the lobby for dinner the guy in front of me held open the door and smiled and it was PAUL REISER. But Paper Cone 4 holds a pretty close second.
I’m just kind of shocked at how awesome all of our readers were. Some of them I had never even heard read before (and some were first-timers), I just crossed my fingers and it worked. Everyone really killed. When you can make a room of 20-something sweaty hipsters laugh, you know you’re talented. It’s a tough crowd, guys. I should know. My jokes always bomb big time and I’m hilarious (call my grandma for verification).
Unfortunately, because I was having such a fantastic time, I have absolutely no photographic evidence of the night. (If anyone else does, please let me know!) And on that note, Kayla and I were thinking of asking for a volunteer photographer for our events. You would drink free. Let me know if you are interested.
you should probably show up to this on wednesday. you know, if you want people to like you.
HEY GUYS!
GUESS WHAT?
YOU’VE BEEN JO-BRO’D!!!!!!!!
JK. THAT’S WHAT IT’S CALLED WHEN THE JONAS BROTHERS PRANK YOU. I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S CALLED YET WHEN ME & KAYLA PRANK YOU. WE’RE STILL WORKING ON IT. BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER, BECAUSE THIS ISN’T A PRANK, THIS IS REAL LIFE. AND IT’S HAPPENING NEXT WEEK.
COME LISTEN TO SOME AWESOME PEOPLE TELL STORIES ABOUT PRANKING AND THINGS UNRELATED TO PRANKING!!
MAY 26TH:
CHRIS FLEMING
MEAGHAN O’CONNELL
JOSH DUBOFF
JULI WEINER
STEVEN KOCHEVAR